1. I cannot get Medicaid because my ex husband is not paying child support through the state. Doesn't matter how sick or poor I am. Doesn't matter what he does or does not do to financially support. His arrangement blocks my access. Even though we are not married. No health for you.

2. IF he paid through the state and I was able to get Medicaid, I would immediately be disqualified. Like ... for having the audacity to own a reliable vehicle as a mother of three children. The vehicle is worth more than $2k. Suck it. No health for you.

3. IF he paid through the state and IF I got rid of my reliable vehicle for one worth under $2k I would then be disqualified because I want to get married and usually once you're married you are automatically out because now your partner's income/car/bank account/stereo/TV/bedroom furniture means you have too many assets. No health for you.

So in practice this means that, because I have a chronic illness, I have to choose between treating it or ... um ... literally anything else.

Medical care in this country is entirely too expensive. I cannot afford even basic doctors visits when my copay is $500 and I'm paying $350 a month just to have the insurance anyway and that's not counting meds or tests or anything. Like who can afford that and also pay rent and bills and eat????? Or raise kids?

My children cannot survive if I live within the means the government has decided are acceptable for me as a disabled person.
So it's for real either they're good or I'm good.

Systemically.

WTF I just wanna not die and not hurt so bad I think I'm dying. I also would like my kids to have the same.

Dassit. Like... why is this controversial?

***I would like to point out that this is not in any way unusual. Most disabled (be it long term or short term) people have serious WTF moments when faced with the reality of our healthcare system.

So we get creative about how we make money under the table to survive. The ingenuity - the determination - the ability to weave magic out of monstrosity.

We are incredible problem solvers. We have an eye for detail like you can't imagine. Of course we're always thinking outside of the box - we could never get in the damn thing anyway.

For real, we are amazing.

Hire us for shit. We are consultants you need. We are creatives you're lacking. We can point out all of the places where you're blocking potential customers because you are inaccessible to them.

WE ARE HERE. We're just forced to live in a sort of grey area that, unless you are incredibly lucky or incredibly privileged, is almost impossible to escape.

You're not listening. I'm not saying "sorta privileged." I said INCREDIBLY privileged. Most upper-middle-class to "oh she like richie rich!?" families could still not afford this medical care.

You most likely could not. Yeah, even my comfortable 6 figure loves.

I mean you need MONEY MONEY. Take a look around. Almost none of you have MONEY MONEY and you're one bad day away from being down here with us.

Just saying, it benefits YOU to pay attention to the situation the American healthcare system and government have left US in and do something about it.

If not for us, then for yourselves.

Your able body is temporary. Your health is fleeting.

That's not a threat, it's a reminder. Pay attention.